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Looking back, I can see that God had a plan even when I couldn't fathom one, and to him I give all the glory. During my years in the service, I worked as an Information Management Specialist, which is a hyped up term for a file clerk, who also types performance reports, writes, edits and rewrites awards for a lot of people who don't deserve them, and a rare few that actually did do half the stuff you wrote. Luckily, I got to do a lot of other cool stuff like working in the post office, acting as a money courier (i.e., hauling a huge box of cash to from our parent base to the remote location where I was stationed), arming up as a security police officer for guard duty and during military exercises (where I had the most fun). Oh, and I was the base billiards champion in 1991, and that was just in Italy. What I didn't realize at the time was all that writing would eventually benefit me greatly. By the time my (now) exwife convinced me to give college a try, I had some background and a little bit of discipline to use it.
Having been divorced for almost ten years now, I am amazed that I would ever be alone this long. Of course, I haven't been alone per se, but the stars aligning or whatever other cosmic or unseen force that makes marriage happen just hasn't happened for me again. And yet, I'm not in the least bit worried about it as that young man was 20 years ago. True, I only wanted to fall in love once, and true I wanted the fairy tale (a guy admitting this....hmmm). However, I have lived a rich full life. Richer even when I consider that the young guy I was....could never have dreamed in a million years that he could overcome his anxieties of venturing off a little two lane road where my universe growing up consisted of as far as I could walk in 30 minutes. Having somewhere along the way unshackled myself from those fears, and instead embraced seeing the world through a different set of eyes. If I could change things by traveling back in time, I would visit with my younger self and I would tell him to be a man sooner, be prepared for life altering changes and embrace them, love deeper and not be afraid of it when someone loves you back, and finally, never be afraid of failing. Every major failure since the day this picture was taken forged a deep resolve to get better, work harder, make deeper, loyal friendships, and pray for the best when you are hurt...pray for those that hurt you....and forgive and then let it go whether they do so in return or not.
Twenty three years ago at 5 a.m. in the morning, I awoke to a room full of screaming drill sergeants banging wooden batons on aluminum trashcans, and screaming obscenities for me to get up, get dressed, and get moving. Twenty three years ago, I mailed my monthly check home to my newlywed wife, and kept a whopping $50 for myself.... Twenty three years later, my whole world is different in every conceivable way with the exception of my family members who are still with me, my faith in God to take care of me, and I still have this uniform hanging in my closet. It may have started off chaotic, but signing away my life for four years to Uncle Sam allowed me to expand my universe, see the world, and gave me a thirst for something more than I would ever have found had any other way.... Moreso than any other time, I will say that I am proud to have had the opportunity to serve my country, and it has paid me back in diamonds.